Dr Gregory House, Meet Patrick Jane
by classy-nerd-at-heart
Summary: This story takes place after Chase kills the dictator from Africa and before Chase and Cameron get a divorce and are both still working for House. Lisbon and Jane visit Princeton Plainsboro in search for their killer,but what they find is more interesting


In the ER of Princeton Plainsboro, Dr. House was hiding from Dr. Cuddy because he didn't want to do his recommended clinic hours. Then Wilson finds him.

"Are you hiding from Cuddy again?" Wilson asked.

"Yes, she still wants me to do clinic hours even though she knows me, " House said.

"Why are you hiding in the ER, then?" Wilson asked. "This is the last place you should be."

"If I go to my office, she'll find me easily; therefore, an easy target." House explained.

"Wouldn't this be an easier?" Wilson asked.

"You got a point…" House said.

Then, out of nowhere, a man collapsed to the floor after kissing his wife, who is on her hospital bed. As the nurses rush to get him on a bed, House walks towards him.

"Your name is?" House asked.

"James," the man said.

"Okay, I'll take the case," House said

"Is the vampire dude still in your office?" Wilson asked.

"Vampire dude?" House asked, confused.

A beat passed before the reply came.

"No comment."

"Just go to your office, House," Wilson said

In House's office, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman were all talking to Mick. Mick was explaining to Chase what a vampire was. Chase didn't believe in vampires and he hated Halloween. Since Halloween was coming up, he thought it was ironic that he would meet a vampire three days before Halloween. In Chase's eyes, Halloween was for little kids or teens; he hated seeing adults dressed up in costumes for Halloween.

"Isn't this ironic that we're meeting a vampire when Halloween is coming up?" Chase asked.

"We met him when you were handling your 'issues' with Debala," House said.

"You knew about that?" Chase said, in shock.

"No, Foreman told me," House said with a straight face.

Then, Foreman shook his head when House started picking on him.

"Really?" Chase asked.

"No!" House said bluntly.

"Then how did you know?" Chase asked.

"How could he not know, you acting weird after the case? We could assume something happened," Cameron said.

"Why couldn't you guys confront me then?" Chase asked. "I thought House would get in my face."

"The final explanation here is: Chase's wrong," House pointed out.

In the patients' room, Chase and Cameron were giving the patients more morphine. Then a cop came in.

"James Chavez we need to talk you," the cop said.

Apparently, the cop was a woman and she had a consultant right next to her.

"What is this about? You guys can't be here," Chase said.

"He's a suspect in a murder investigation," the woman said.

Chase didn't hear what she was saying because he was looking at her consultant who was "analyzing" him.

"Excuse me? Why are you staring at me for?" Chase asked.

"Nothing; just doing my job. It looks like you're suffering from regret of something you did," the man said. "Sorry, I didn't introduce myself." He gives his hand to Chase. "Patrick Jane, Consultant to the CBI."

"Wait. Aren't you guys located in Sacramento?" Cameron asked

"Yes, we are," the cop said.

"Then, this isn't your jurisdiction," Cameron said.

Jane chimed in ignoring the fight.

"It looks like you are frustrated and confused about something. Maybe a lover isn't telling you something," Jane said, analyzing Dr. Cameron.

Then, Chase and Cameron look at each other and exchange glances.

"Wait, you two are married, aren't you?" Jane asked, pointing at Chase and Cameron.

Cameron now tries to explain; Chase gives her a look and Jane cuts her off.

"He's probably not telling you something about a case you recently did because it ended tragically," Jane explained.

"You could tell all that from just looking at us?" Chase asked. "That is impossible; you probably read our files."

Then Dr. Cuddy comes in. Cuddy is the head of the administration and runs the hospital.

"What are the police doing here?" Cuddy asks.

"Apparently, the patient's their number one suspect in a murder," Chase answers.

"And where is House?" Cuddy asks.

"In his office," Cameron concluded.

Then, Cuddy confronts the cop and Jane. Cuddy introduces herself.

"I'm sorry. I'm Dr. Lisa Cuddy, chief of the hospital," Cuddy introduces herself.

"Teresa Lisbon and this is Patrick Jane," Lisbon says while shaking Cuddy's hand.

Out of nowhere, after standing in the doorway for a while, House confronts everyone.

"Hello, Chief!" House starts mocking Cuddy and then sees the police in the room. "Wait, what's going on here?" House asks.

"We're the CBI; we're here to ask Mr. Chavez some questions," Lisbon said.

"Aren't you guys located in Sacramento?" House asked

"Yes, we are, but since this murder is connected to several murders on the east coast, which makes this our jurisdiction," Lisbon explains.

Then, Jane starts analyzing House.

"You guys are just crazy!" House said.

Jane starts talking to House.

"I can see that you're a narcissistic jerk that has a soft side that rarely comes out," Jane said.

"And your point?" House asks.

"Something or several things in the past cause you to not express your feelings and your leg," Jane points to House's leg, "is probably connected. Stuff in your past died or made you sad that happened to you," Jane said.

"What are you, a mind reader?" House asked.

"Yes, I am," Jane concludes.

There is silence for a moment and House smiles at Jane. Jane chuckles back.

"Fine, we can talk about this in my office," House said. "But only Patrick Jane will state your case," House concludes.

Jane smiles.

"What? He's not even a real co," Lisbon says.

"Does he know your case?" House asks.

Lisbon starts to give up. Jane starts whispering to Lisbon to let him go.

"Lisbon let me go. I'll be fine," Jane whispered.

"Why can't I go with him?" Lisbon asks, pointing at Jane.

House takes the chart off the patient's bed and looks at it.

"Because, I just don't like you," House said bluntly with a straight face.

Lisbon's jaw drops.

"See ya'," House said, looking at Lisbon.

Jane waves and wiggles his fingers to Lisbon with a wicked smile and both House and Jane leave the room.

In House's office, Jane and House start talking about the situation and trail off when Jane asks about House's leg.

"So, can we talk to him?" Jane asked.

"Yeah," said House, relaxed. "I just like to cause a scene."

"I do the unthinkable and sometimes it leads me to, for example, jail," Jane says.

"You've been to jail?" House asks curiously.

"Yes, my wife and kid were killed by this man who goes by 'Red John' and I put a microphone under an agent's desk and they found it, and sent me to jail for eavesdropping. I just wanted to what was going on. The agent in charge of it doesn't even think I'm a cop, and he's right," Jane explains.

"So, you are a cop?" House asks. "I've been to jail also, but for a day… accused for using Narcotics.. and I was, but it was for pain, I was taking Viccotin."

"No, I'm a consultant," Jane says bluntly.

"A consultant?" House asks, confused.

"House -- of all the things you could possibly do, you cause a scene," Wilson said, coming through the door.

"Don't you knock?" House asked.

"House, why don't you just let them talk to the patient?" Wilson asked.

"I am," House said bluntly.

"Then, why did you cause a scene?" Wilson asked.

"I thought it was pretty entertaining," Jane said.

"Of course you do; you're just like him!" Wilson said.

"I don't see what's wrong with that," House said.

"Hey, I don't see anything wrong with that either," Jane said. "By the way, I'm Patrick Jane," Jane said, holding out his hand.

"I'm James Wilson," Wilson said, introducing himself. Wilson shakes his hand.

There is a silence.

"Is this because you wanted to get away from Cuddy?" Wilson asked.

"Kind of, but I just wanted to have a _private_ conversation with this guy," House said, moving towards Jane.

"I bet you weren't even talking about the case." Wilson said. "Were you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" House asked.

Jane chuckles after House's remark.

Wilson ignores Jane.

"You just wanted to have a conversation? Wilson asked shocked, but not surprised.

"Yes, didn't I just say this?" House asked.

"Yeah, you did." Jane agreed.

"House, you're an ass, and you (pointing at Jane) … I don't know you that well, but right now I would call you an ass." Wilson said.

Wilson leaves it like that. He walks out through the door.

Does that hurt you or insult you in anyway?" Jane asked

"No, because he's right and it's a fact that I'm an ass." House said. "People also call me a narcissistic jerk." House shrugs.

Jane chuckles again.

"A guy with a sense of humor, I like that." Jane said.

In Cuddy's office, agent Lisbon was looking for Jane and wanted to get the answer from Dr. House.

"Dr. Cuddy, where is Dr. House and Patrick Jane?" Lisbon asked.

"I don't know, but you're right we need to find them." Cuddy said.

Wilson at the door, he says he found House.

"House and Jane are in House's office." Wilson said. "I've never seen House get along with anyone so well, except me."

"Oh, please don't get on your high horse." Jane said at the door with House.

"Do you have an answer, House?" Cuddy asked.

"Yes, you can interrogate him, I just to cause a scene." House said with smile.

"House, you're an ass, but I bet Wilson has told you that already." Cuddy said.

"He also called me that too." Jane said.

Everybody looks at him.

"What? He did." Jane said

"You act like my mom, chief!" House said which made Cuddy quiet.

Its Halloween night. The night chase loathes the most. While House is in his office creating pranks to pull (especially on Chase), Chase does his work…alone. Jane and house are very good friends. Aside from Wilson, Jane has more in common that he does with Wilson.

"It's Halloween, House, my favorite time of the year… aside from Christmas." Jane said.

"This day reminds me of an employee I had, Cuter." House said.

Chase walks into House's office. House is behind the door so, he can prank him. As Chase moves through the door, House jumps out.

"BOO!" House shouted.

Chase is all startled, from House.

"What was that?" Chase asked.

"Me trying to scare you, I know how much you hate Halloween." House said.

"What, are you five?" Chase asked.

Jane chimes in shocked.

"You hate Halloween!" Jane asked.

"Yes, I do… Halloween is for kids not adults. Cameron dresses for it and I don't like it." Chase explained.

"Halloween is fun don't you like having fun?" Jane asked.

"You call being an immature jerk fun?" Chase asked.

"It looks like you had a rough past and childhood." Jane says.

"That has nothing to do with me hating Halloween, it's my opinion and it's not mandatory to celebrate it." Chase argued.

"There was an awkward silence for a moment.

"Do you celebrate Christmas or do you have something to say about that too?" House asked.

"Yes, I do … what does that have to do with Halloween?" chase asked defensively.

"Answer his question!" Jane said.

"Yes I celebrate Christmas, but you don't have to dress in a costume and ask strangers for candy." Chase explained.

Cameron and Foreman walks into House's office while Chase tries to explain himself. Cameron tries to save him. Agent Lisbon then walks in. House gets an idea.

"I want foreman to dress in a Santa suit." House said.

"It would be cool, actually… but that's not what Christmas is about unless you want to dress up as Santa." Jane said.

Jane starts laughing.

"Can we focus on the patient, please House?" Cameron asked.

"What are you calling me fat?" Foreman asked thinking whether to be insulted or not.

"Is he okay for questioning because Jane isn't helping." Lisbon said.

"Wait a minute…isn't Jane a consultant not a real hypnotist?" Wilson asked, "He can't really read minds."

"You better believe I can read your mind, let me try on you for proof." Jane said.

"Absolutely Not!" Wilson said defensively.

"What, are you scared Wilson?" House asked sarcastically.

"No, but isn't that an invasion of privacy?" Wilson asked.

Ignoring everyone, Jane reads Wilson's mind without his permission, since Wilson himself made him curious.

"You feel tired every morning because you're looking after House. You can't do things you would do when he's not there, but you tstillfeel like he's the only friend to. And I take it that you're his only friend too." Jane said."

"Didn't I tell you not to read my mind?" Wilson asked.

"I'm going to interrogate the suspect." Lisbon said.

"There's no need, the patient is a victim or a witness, whoever killed the other guy is probably on his way to kill him." Jane explained.

House looked at Jane.

"Cool!" House said curiously.

"How do you that?" Wilson asked.

"He's usually right too." Lisbon said.

"Then, what was this about?" Wilson asked. "I wouldn't have called Jane an ass."

"You wouldn't take what you said back for me?" House asked sarcastically.

"We all know for a fact, even yourself, that you're an ass, people who meet you for the first time know that." Cuddy said, "But, you're the best we've got."

"Wow chief that was really mean and really nice, stay away from me!" House said acting scared.

"House." Cuddy said giving up, "Stop acting like a five your old, and grow up."

Then Mick comes in the room telling them that the patient is in cardiac arrest.

"Guy's while you were all fighting, House's patient and Lisbon's suspect went into cardiac arrest." Mick said.

"I'm on it." Cameron said, "I'll do anything to get out of here right now."

"I'll go with her." Chase said.

They both run out of Cuddy's office.

"Why didn't your beepers beep?" Wilson asked curiously "I guess the nurses didn't get there in time." Lisbon suggested.

"Then how did he know?" Wilson asked.

"Vampires have super hearing, so I heard someone go into his room and talk to him for a little bit, the person left and the patient went into cardiac arrest." Mick explained.

"I told you he's a victim…that was probably the killer." Jane said, "By the way, who is he?" pointing to Mick.

"House, you can answer that." Cuddy demanded.

"HE'S A VAMPIRE!" House yelled trying to scare Jane.

"I don't believe you…" Jane said smiling, "Vampire's aren't real."

Mick then opens his mouth.

"Cool…" Jane said smiling.

"They're not made of rubber, by the way." Mick said.

"I know…" Jane said. "I've seen vampires before."

"When?" asked House.

Then Cameron walks in.

"Guy's, our patient just died of a drug overdose and a stab to the chest." Cameron confirmed.

"How can he o.d. on drugs, if he's in a coma." Wilson asked.

"Because, Wilson, this is an inside job, someone related to the case is the killer. The patient is a victim." House said, "Jane was right."

"But who could it be?" Cuddy asked.

"It could be Mick." Jane suggested. "How else could the patient go into cardiac arrest and your beepers didn't go off?

"That's true, that could be really suspicious." Lisbon said.

Jane then slips out of House's office to the crime scene.

"Excuse Me." House said.

Then he slips out also, following Jane. House meets up with Jane at the crime scene.

"What are you doing?" House asked.

"Finding a way to solve this case." Jane said.

"You magically find something at the last minute." House asked bluntly.

"Yeah, that happens." Jane said.

Jane looks at the IV; there is a smudge on it.

"Who was in here last?" Jane asked.

"I don't know, you should ask Chase or Cameron." House said. "Why?"

"He must have known his killer." Jane said.

Back in House's office; everyone else was discussing the mystery. Then Jane and House entered the room.

"We found a clue." Jane said.

"And what is it?" Lisbon asked.

"The killer had to be someone he knew." Jane said.

"He got it from a smudge." House said bluntly. "I was shocked too." (sarcastically)

"I don't believe that, if this is true, you must be a consultant with super powers." Wilson said.

"Uh…can I just say something, the wife said he had an enemy." Chase pointed out.

"Who was it?" Lisbon asked.

"She said that his brother, Dennis Timber, despised him. He tried to hack into his bank account." Chase said.

"Rigsby, get prints off the murder weapon and the IV he was using, we got ourselves a second crime scene." Lisbon demanded.

"Yes boss." Rigsby said.

Lisbon turned to everyone else.

"This will determine who the killer is." Lisbon said.

2 hours later, Rigsby comes back with the results.

Lisbon takes the paper and then reads it.

"Besides the fingerprints of all doctors and nurses, Michael Timber is our killer." Lisbon announced.

Later, Lisbon and Jane convicted the killer and everyone says their goodbyes.

"We found the killers, thank you for helping us." Lisbon said. "It's nice meeting you all."

"Nice meeting you Dr. House and Dr. Wilson, it's been fun." Jane said "We'll be in touch."

After that, House makes a smile on his face. This expression is very rare for him.

"Nice meeting you too." Wilson said.

"Bye!" House said holding out his hand.

Jane shakes House's hand, you're actually pretty cool. You bet we keep in touch." House said.

Then Jane leaves with Lisbon.

"Wow, that's was rare, House smiled!" Wilson said shocked.

"Well, don't count on it happening again anytime soon." House said.

Everyone starts laughing, except House.

"What, it's a fact…you know I don't smile." House concluded.

The End


End file.
